I would like to share with you my experience of the trauma I am going through with my husband since the Yom Kippur War in 1973.
He has had PTSD since 1973, which was acknowledged by the Israeli government this year.
Maintaining this reality is the story of my life.
An awakening call to the life you choose that suddenly takes other forms; now the work starts.
For the past 50 years, since October 1973, this has been my path.
It took me years to understand the cause of his behavior. I felt blamed for his moods, his pain; mental pain can be so deep there is no medicine to heal it.
So, I chose the work of yoga and mindfulness. What yoga, mindfulness, silent walking, breathwork, and sound healing did to my suffering space.
When you suffer, it makes the earth imbalanced, like an alert for a storm.
In 1974, I started to meditate from books and joined small groups that did the silent walk and listened to the sounds of mother nature.
I was very unconscious at this time; I could only feel that something was not right with the suffering soul (my partner then and now).
Why and how and who to speak to? Everyone was talking about winning the war (Yom Kippur) and not about the wounds of the soul.
Everyone was proud of their battles and returned home to their private war.
So here and now, I want to share some tools that work with body, soul, and mind.
First, the word "compassion" became very present and is the first tool for the work.
Compassion is a free tool and can be effective in daily life.
I worked on combining yoga forms. I studied feminine yoga and Kundalini with teachers from the Sikh organization in the USA. I also meditated at the center of Thich Nhat Hanh (mindfulness creator).
In the last few years, I've done breathwork (pranayama) and some Wim Hof method. Natural daily breathing and observing the breath increase capacity and prana.
All together with the work of healing through healers who assist me with body and soul work. Fifty years of studying and never stopping working, experiencing while living with the trauma at home. One of my partner's behaviors is to relive the war every day, and he sometimes speaks as if he is at war.
This pattern is known for the way they deal with their trauma daily. For me, living in the aftermath of '73 and Lebanon is part of my life. I always take deep breaths in and out and start talking about happy subjects, like seeing our kids and grandchildren—always changing the subject. Just being, breathing, and changing the tone and words.
My work in softening and containing is daily and is done with a lot of focus on the energy at home. I wake up with gratitude for the life I choose daily, meditate at home every morning, and practice yoga asanas. I burn some sage and bay leaves—everything that cleanses and strengthens purity and clarity.
For my partner, I arranged the Tai Chi workout, and it really balances his mind, body, and soul. Further to the tai chi therapy, my partner spoke for a long time after 30 years ago he experienced kung fu and was very impressed by the teacher. The bonding with the master was important, so during covid i did a lot of chanting mantras with body work and he joined me. That really balanced the energy at home and we started looking for the right master.
We met an American guy that was also a veteran so they had a lot in common and he teaches him which gives him quality time with a group that supports him.
So as you can see, for someone with PTSD, trusting and feeling good in a safe space again allows such a healing process.
My message for every soul dealing with trauma: Please breathe, observe, ask for help, stay connected to the heart, listen to the sounds in your head, and find the work that suits you.
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